Girls night. Darcy had pulled out all the stops, spared no expense, and she was damn sure she was going to get some juicy information. She had turned one of the rec rooms into a girly extravaganza, decorated with balloons and streamers, a table of high quality nibbles and an enormous array of drinks, plus blankets, pillows and fairy lights. Thank goodness she had been at the store with Thor when the emergency went off otherwise she’d have been set back maybe an entire hour on lockdown. The whole place was cosy AF, and she was pretty damn proud of herself. She had messaged everyone and told them to come in their pyjamas, as she didn't feel like getting dressed up, and snuggled up in her Avengers themed onesie seemed the perfect way to spend the evening.
Jane helped her set up, once she could drag her away from analysing the "fascinating energy signature" the whatever the hell it was that came after Loki was, and they were first pyjama'd and with a drink in hand. Admittedly Jane only had a coke but Darcy opened a bottle of wine, turning up her girls night playlist. Four hundred and seventy-six songs to tell dirty stories to.
‘So, how many are we expecting? Because I think you have enough food to feed about a hundred?’ Jane asked as she looked over the spread.
‘Seven or eight.’ Darcy said as she danced over to her friend.
‘You’re going to be eating cheese and cold cuts for months.’ Jane shook her head.
‘Nah, I’ll just let Thor loose in here when we’re done. He’s, like, the Asgardian food vacuum.’
‘You have a point.’
Darcy held a bottle out to her. ‘C’mon, Jane, rum up that coke.’
‘Later, Darcy, it’s barely past six.’
‘It’s five o’clock somewhere!’ She sang the song.
‘It’s past five o’clock.’ Jane pointed out as Darcy poured rum in the glass anyway.
‘Knock knock.’ Nat called as she led both Sigyn and Wanda into the room.
‘Very nice, Darcy. Good job.’ Wanda nodded, impressed with her work.
‘Thank you, this is now our girl cave. I’m considering leaving the lights up and woe betide any man who tries to remove them.’
‘What are you drinking, Sigyn?’ Nat said pointedly as she crossed the room.
‘Uh, wine? White unless we have some of that stupidly good red Loki keeps stealing.’
‘He’s not the only one who steals it.’ Nat smiled as she held up one of many bottles.
‘Whoa, Sigyn? We’re calling you Sigyn now?’ Darcy dashed across the room and grabbed her hand, pulling her away from where she had stayed by the door.
She shrugged. ‘I feel more like Sigyn than Maia. It’s a weird transition I don’t think I’m all the way through yet.’
‘But that’s so cool! You’ve embraced your past life, and your current one. You get to be two different people.’
‘It’s not really that simple, but I know what you mean.’
‘So you and Janey are practically like sister-in-laws!’
‘Almost kind of maybe not quite?’ Sigyn suggested.
‘Good answer.’ She said as she pulled her phone out of her bra as it vibrated. ‘Aw Maria and Pepper can’t make it.’
‘Who else are we waiting on?’ Nat asked.
‘Just one more, I think.’
‘You have too much food, in that case.’
‘Told you.’ Jane said as she passed to sit on one of the couches.
‘I like to be prepared.’ Darcy argued. ‘And I thought Maria and Pepper could come until just now, and Sharon is who knows where.’
‘Lisbon.’ Nat said.
‘How do you know that?’ Nat just shrugged with a small smile. ‘That’s meant to be classified.’
Nat laughed. ‘It’s not classified, she’s on a layover and her flight was delayed.’
‘Does that mean we’re all here?’ Jane asked.
‘Good evening.’ They all turned at the new voice in the doorway and Sigyn grinned.
‘Oh Sif, how did you get roped into this?’ She asked as she approached her friend, who held a small keg under her arm.
‘The chance to spend the evening telling stories to embarrass men while drinking with some of the strongest women I know? How could I not?’ She said as they embraced.
‘Now we’re all here.’ Darcy grinned.
It was only minutes before everyone was seated with drinks, Sif and Sigyn taking a two seater together while Darcy held court in the overly large armchair.
‘Okay, since Sif is new, we need to introduce her slowly to the premise of girls night.’
‘Trust me, she doesn’t need introducing to the premise.’ Sigyn laughed. ‘She practically invented it.’
‘Did I?’ Sif looked at her innocently.
‘Who grilled me six ways ’til Sunday about just how many gentleman callers it had taken to make me a lady before I returned to Asgard?’
‘That does sound somewhat familiar.’ Sif said exaggeratedly.
‘And what was the answer?’ Darcy asked.
‘The same as it was then, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell.’
‘Or anything else, apparently.’ Sif laughed.
‘Took just one man to make me consider going to the other side.’ Darcy commented as she took a large swig of her drink.
‘Whoa, Darcy, why I have never heard that one before?’ Nat asked.
‘Because it’s a tale of adolescent awkwardness and we want tales of adult debauchery!’
‘Shame, you’d do well batting for the other team.’ Nat toasted her and there was a round of shocked “ohhhhh!”s.
‘If you were batting for it I’d be there, girl, you know I’d hit that.’
‘Wow, we degraded faster than normal.’ Jane remarked into her glass.
‘Okay, so what goes on at an Asgardian girls night?’
‘It’s not all that different.’ Sigyn assured them. ‘The alcohol is stronger.’ She nodded towards the contents of the glass Sif held that she had already tried to convince her to share, but she reminded her she had a human constitution to consider and wanted to remember the night.
‘And the tales wilder.’ Sif smiled.
‘I don’t know, we get pretty wild.’ Darcy said defensively.
‘As wild as Sif after a battle? When she really wants to celebrate? I bet there’s less blood involved.’
‘That was one time.’ Sif said. ‘And it was consensual so it matters not.’
‘Okay, we need to hear that one first.’ Darcy pointed at her Asgardian guest.
Several hours later and the giggling had intensified. They were halfway through a round of Fuck, Marry, Kill, which Darcy had renamed; Wed, Bed, Behead.
‘Sigyn; Loki, Thor or Fandral?’
‘That’s a little unfair.’ She complained as Wanda and Jane laughed. ‘I already bed and wed one of them.’
‘And bedded again. And again.’ Sif reminded her.
‘Nuh uh, rules. You have to choose.’
‘If I wed do I not get to bed though? Because that leaves us with the idea that the marriage isn’t consummated which leaves it null and void, surely?’ She suggested.
‘She’s going to kill Fandral.’ Sif said simply.
‘That goes without saying. I can’t very well kill Loki or Thor.’ She bit her lip as she thought. ‘Okay, if, and I mean if, I get to use the marital bed then I’m marrying Loki because, best of both worlds.’
‘Which means bedding Thor.’ Nat pointed out.
‘But is it just once? Or is he the only one I’m ever allowed to sleep with? Because if I don’t sleep with my husband but can repeatedly sleep with who I bed, then I’d swap Loki and Thor in a heartbeat. I’d rather be married to Thor and not abusing his hammer than not be able to make mischief with the god of it.’
‘Shit, she has a point. I want to change my answers.’ Jane said, who had had to choose between Thor, Bruce and Steve. This started another round of laughter.
‘You ruined the game with logic.’ Darcy threw a pillow at Sigyn who deflected it with her hand.
‘I’m sorry, but I even have to consider I was the Goddess of Fidelity which means I’d have to be true to whoever I wed, so no bedding anyway. Which means Loki. Thor gets blue balls.’
‘Jesus, this is more complicated than I thought.’ Darcy muttered. ‘Okay, new game. Question; weirdest, most outlandish place you’ve ever had sex.’
‘You totally go first.’ Jane told her.
‘Okay. Roof of the lab in Puente Antigua. Go.’
‘What?’ Jane asked.
‘On your lawn chair.’ She grinned as Jane pulled a disgusted face.
‘That wasn’t part of the question.’ Darcy smirked, getting up and going to the food table.
‘Extended question. Where and who?’ Jane amended.
‘Just some guy from the bar.’ Darcy shrugged as she pushed a whole slice of beef into her mouth.
‘Wow, just, wow.’
‘I know yours.’ Sigyn leant in to Sif with a small smile.
‘As I know yours.’ She replied smugly and she received raised eyebrows as a reply. ‘Don’t I?’
Sigyn shook her head. ‘Well, it depends. Which life are we talking about? Because I have two to consider.’
‘Weirdest of the two.’ Wanda suggested as Nat said; ‘Both.’
‘Someone else go first, I already messed up the last game.’ She got up and went to the table where Darcy offered her a plate.
‘She doesn’t want to tell one of them.’ Nat said teasingly.
‘I don’t want to tell either of them, really.’
‘Mine was the roof of the Kremlin. I think.’ Nat shrugged.
‘On the roof?’ Wanda laughed.
‘It was dark out, it was private.’ Nat shrugged. ‘Or it could be in the tunnel off Grand Central. Which is weirder?’
‘They’re both pretty weird.’ Darcy replied. ‘Come on, Sigyn, you have to have better than that. You can’t let Nat take the gold when you have two lifetimes to call on.’
‘Maia’s is pretty boring.’ She said, hoping to get out of it.
‘Danger Room at X-Manor?’ Nat suggested.
‘God, I’m not suicidal.’
‘It can’t be that embarrassing.’ Jane said.
‘Tell them yours.’ Darcy smiled at her and Jane sat back in her nest of cushions.
‘It’s not my turn yet.’
‘Yeah, I thought so.’ She turned back to Sigyn and gave her puppy dog eyes. ‘Pleeeaasseee. You’re one of us now. We share everything.’
She screwed up her eyes and sighed. ‘Fine.’ Darcy cheered and clapped her hands. ‘The training room.’
‘The training room here?’ Darcy went wide eyed as Nat started laughing.
‘Oh, really? You’ve only been here a few days, so I’m saying with Loki, but when?’
‘It’s kind of how we defrosted the room.’ She said quietly as she blushed, her cheeks pinking further than they had been thanks to the wine.
‘Heat.’ Wanda nodded. ‘Well, there are worst ways to call it.’
‘And worst people to call it with.’ Darcy started piling her plate.
‘You have a bit of a crush on the God of Mischief, don’t you?’ Nat asked.
‘Please.’ Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘I have a lady boner for all The Avengers. Present company included.’
‘That’s…disturbing.’ Wanda said.
‘Not an ugly one of you in the bunch.’ Darcy waved her hand at the women. ‘Anyway, we’re getting off topic. What’s Sigyn’s weirdest?’
‘I want to know what Sif thinks it is.’ Jane said. ‘Then we can compare.’
‘Oh no.’ Sigyn shook her head and went back to her seat with a small selection of food. ‘She knows too much.’
‘We could be all night, if I list them all.’ Sif pointed out.
‘Just the weirdest.’ Nat reminded her.
‘The great library on Asgard comes to mind.’
‘Not the one I’m thinking of.’ Sigyn smiled smugly.
Sif narrowed her eyes at her. ‘Frigga’s private garden?’ Again she shook her head. ‘I know you snuck off after several battles when you should have been helping us with the remnants.’
‘Still not weird. We always used somewhere private.’
‘Covered in the blood of your enemies is a little weird.’
‘You know Loki can clean that stuff up easy enough.’
Sif sighed. ‘You are really going to make me list the many places I can think of?’
‘I’m not that mean.’ She offered her the plate and Sif took one of the olives. ‘It was Odin’s throne.’
‘What?’ There was almost a chorus from around the room and Sif gave her horrified eyes.
‘The Allfather’s throne?’
Sigyn nodded. ‘Just once. Okay, maybe three times. We nearly got caught the third time. What can I say? Loki has a king kink.’
‘We all noticed that.’ Darcy came and sat down again. ‘On the actual throne?’
‘On the actual throne.’
‘When were you able to do that without getting caught?’ Sif looked at her in disbelief.
‘Middle of the night. We’d sneak out of Loki’s room. Third time he had to turn us invisible halfway through when the watch decided to take a tour of the throne room and the bastard still wouldn’t stop. That place echoes like crazy.’
‘It does.’ Sif was still looking at her in complete amazement. ‘Do I dare ask if it coincided with anything in particular?’
‘You know Loki.’ She shrugged.
‘Yes, he has a very…unique sense of humour. Which worries me as to what I just asked.’
‘He liked to have it coincide with Odin holding court with visiting dignitaries, normally when we all had to attend and Loki would just grin at me from across the room, knowing full well what we had been doing just hours earlier on the throne everyone was bowing to.’
‘He is such a pervert.’ Jane said.
‘Aren’t all men?’ Nat pointed out.
‘Pretty much.’ Darcy agreed. ‘Anywhere else, besides the library, flower garden and, ew, the room you guys train in?’
‘Must be someone else’s turn?’ Sigyn asked hopefully.
‘Maybe. How many years were you and Loki together?’
‘Over three hundred.’
‘Nope, you have lots more stories to tell us.’ Darcy grinned.
‘Did you call this entire girls night just to get the juicy details on Loki?’
‘You and Loki.’ She corrected her. ‘But, I admit, it was coincidental yet perfect timing.’
Sigyn pulled a face. ‘I don’t think I want to get more juicy than abusing Odin’s throne.’
‘Then what about your wedding? An Asgardian wedding has to be awesome.’
‘They almost were not wed at all.’ Sif said. ‘Odin forbade it.’
‘Forbidden love? This gets better!’ Darcy crossed her legs and pulled a cushion into her lap. ‘Story time!’
‘And she was betrothed to someone else.’
‘Do you want to tell the story?’ Sigyn asked. ‘Because you’re welcome to.’
‘I do not know every little detail as you do, but if you wish I can tell them what I know, or we can tell it together.’
‘You add anything I can’t remember. Some stuff is still coming back. I know the important bits but not everything.’
‘You’re really going to share?’ Darcy said excitedly.
‘I’ll share.’ She said with a sigh. ‘But only because it does help me with details.’