Monster

After everyone was gone I went to the storage where Romanoff had packed my stuff. It was afternoon by the time I got back to my house. And even though I’d been chewed out by Nick Fury I was feeling a great deal better than I had before. Bucky had come back, I’d convinced him to stay the night, and then he’d reacted well to my honesty.

The only thing that I was worried about was the fact that Bucky hadn’t stayed the whole night. I knew that he had slept at least for a little bit. Or he had just laid there for a long time. But he had been gone by the time I woke up in the morning. Steve said he didn’t hear anyone leave the bedroom and he didn’t want to bother Bucky when he woke up in the morning. So he wasn't sure when he had left either.

Unfortunately my house was empty when I managed to get inside. I had to shut the door with my foot and then I set my box on the couch.

“Bucky? Hello? Anyone home?” I called out, there was no answer of course. So I headed back out to the car to get the rest of my stuff.

A little while later I had my clothes back in the closet and I was sitting on the floor going through my military stuff. I had my uniform, my medals, my throwing knives, my pictures, my letters from home, and my discharge papers. I was still sifting through them when I heard my floor creak and I turned around and he was standing in my bedroom.

“Hey,” I said with a smile. “When did you leave?”

“Early. I didn’t want to bother you,” he replied.

“You can sit down.” He took a seat on the chair Steve normally left his coat on. I shoved my box back into the closet. Then I turned to face him and crossed my legs. “I got in trouble this morning for telling you the truth,” I told him. “But I think it worked out okay. So Steve is going to come by later and pick up his stuff. We’re going to have dinner. All of us. That includes you, okay?”

“You’re trying to domesticate me.” I smiled, but I was thinking about what Sam had said. Some of us couldn’t be domesticated.

“Was that a joke?” I asked him. “I’m not trying to domesticate you. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. But what I want to do is help you. So as long as you’re willing to accept my help, I will offer it.”

“I’ll stay for dinner.”

“Excellent. And you’ll stay the night again?”

“If you want me to.”

“Good. Will you help me make dinner?” He almost smiled. I could sense it.

“I’m not sure that I’ll be any help.”

“We’ll figure it out. C’mon, let’s go check out what I have.” I stood up and stretched my hand out for him to take. He studied my hand for a moment but I waited patiently until he lifted his right hand and slid it into mine. Then he stood and followed me down the stairs.

Bucky really wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t be of much help in the kitchen. For the short time that I’d known him I’d seen the machine HYDRA had made him, I’d seen confusion, I’d seen curiosity. But I’d never seen fear. Until now. And I have to admit it was kind of amusing.

“No,” I said hurrying over to the stove where he stood. “No, no, no. You don’t want to use a metal spatula for this.” I took the spatula from his hand before he scraped the hell out of the bottom of my non-stick pot. “This is non-stick. They didn’t have these back in your day, but now they make pots with Teflon on the bottom and it stops your food from sticking so badly. If you use a metal spoon you’ll just scrape up all the Teflon and our spaghetti sauce will taste like metal.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be.” I reached for a wooden spoon and handed it over. “Wood is usually the best for cooking.”

“You know a lot about cooking.” He began to stir the spaghetti sauce like I’d told him and I returned to the counter where I’d laid out meatballs.

“Not really. I mean… It’s jarred sauce and I was the one who forgot to spice the meatballs before baking them. But I guess some of my mother’s lessons stuck.”

“I don’t remember my mother.”

“I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“I grew up in an orphanage.” I turned to look at where he was slowly stirring the pot of sauce.

“I didn’t know that.”

“It’s alright.”

“Is there anything else you remember now?” I asked him.

“I remember Steve’s mom. She was nice. Like you.” I nodded.

“That’s sweet.”

“I remember joining the army and constantly having to get Steve out of fights in back alleys. I remember Connie. I remember the Commandos. I remember Steve finding me when I was beginning to forget him.”

“Sounds like you remember a lot.”

“I don’t remember details. I don’t remember little things. Off days. I remember events, people. I don’t remember important things.”

“You will,” I told him. “It gets easier after time. The details are always the hardest to grasp. Sometimes you just need a little bit of a push. I’m sure the more you talk to Steve the more things will come to you.” He nodded and turned his head to the side. He wasn’t looking at me but I could see his face since his hair was pulled back.

“I remember most of it because of you,” he said quietly.

“Me? Why me?”

“Because when I’m with you I feel comfortable.” I smiled to myself again.

“Well, I’m glad. Now you know why I think it’s important that we stick together.”

“You don’t find it difficult? Having me around?” He went back to stirring and I had forgotten about the meatballs.

“I find it more difficult not knowing where you are, if you want me to be honest with you.”

“I appreciate honestly.” I heard the sound of Steve’s motorcycle rumbling down the street. I saw his spine go straight but he kept stirring. I probably could have told him he didn’t have to stir constantly, but I think he liked it.

“Promise you’ll stay?” I asked him quietly.

“I already did,” he replied.

“I think the meatballs are ready for the sauce. I’m going to bring them to you.” I lifted the pan and went back to his side. He stepped away so I could slide the meatballs into the sauce. When I was done I looked up and he was already watching me.

“I have an idea,” I told him as I took the wooden spoon and stirred the meatballs. “I think you should stay the weekend with me. I don’t have to work and you’re free to do what you want. But I want you to at least stay the weekend. I’m not trying to change you or domesticate you. I just want you to re-learn how to take care of yourself. In a normal boring kind of way. Like we can mow the lawn and weed the garden and I’ll go to the grocery store and we can make food and watch crappy movies. If you want. How does that sound?” He almost smiled again.

“It sounds… really boring,” he replied. And then I saw his lips turn up at the corners and my eyes narrowed.

“Are you smiling?” I asked.

“I might be.” I laughed and the front door opened from the living room.

“It’s me,” I heard Steve say.

“We’re in the kitchen.” He came around the corner and smiled.

“Smells great.”

“Tastes even better. Bucky helped with the sauce.” He cringed.

“He never was any good at it.”

“He was never any good at breathing,” Bucky replied as he turned back to the sauce and took the spoon from me. Steve was smiling again.

Notes

Sorry for not updating last night. I ended up being busy all damn day and no one would leave me alone for like five freaking minutes. And then when everyone went to bed and finally left me alone I was like "Fuck everything. I'm watching Once Upon a Time." So I did that.

And then today I had a shit ton of homework to get caught up on and I fried my brain.

Anyway, this is meant to be a kind fun "things are going well at the moment" chapter. HOWEVER, there is a teeny tiny hint of something that is going to come. If you find it, I'll give you a um... digital pat on the back. If you don't find it, that's okay because it's not meant to be noticed until the sequel anyway. So no worries. :D