Monster

The next morning I woke up to sunlight filtering through the thick trees in my backyard. It was a breezy morning and the trees were waving quietly, leaving dancing shadows on my walls. I could still feel Bucky’s metal arm around me. It was heavy against my body.

I moved to roll over so that I could face him and he reacted instantly. His arm shifted so that it wasn’t so heavy against me and I could move more freely. I rolled onto my side and looked up at the sleepy man lying on my extra pillow.

He looked happy. For the first time since I’d met him he seemed completely and totally happy. I could see the light in his blue eyes. They were sleepy but relaxed. The corners of his lips were hinting at the almost smile, but it wasn’t strained. It was like he was preparing himself for a smile. Like he already knew it was going to happen. His body was relaxed and it actually seemed like he might have gotten some real sleep. Dreamless sleep.

I leaned over and kissed him softly. His metal fingers gripped my shoulder, but not enough to cause me any pain.

“Do you believe that it’s real now?” I asked him as I rested my head back on the pillow. The smile appeared.

“It was always real for me,” he replied as he pressed his hand against my chest, feeling for my heartbeat again.

“You’re so cheesy.” His smile was crooked, as if he found my words amusing.

“Do they not like cheesy in this century?” I laughed.

“I kind of like it. But that’s between me and you.”

I leaned onto him and rested my head against his chest. I wrapped my arm around him and he stayed gentle with his metal arm over mine. I laid like that for a second, just listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It had been a long time since I’d heard another heartbeat. The sound comforted me. It reminded me that he was real. He was a real person. A human being with a heart and a mind and no matter what happened, as long as that heart kept beating I would do whatever I could to keep him safe.

“Are you hungry?” I asked him.

“No,” he replied.

“Are you just saying that because you don’t want to get out of bed?” I felt his cold metal fingers over my back.

“I might be,” he said. I looked up at him and smiled.

“I’ll make you breakfast. I’m not very good at it.”

“Waffles again?” I laughed. “I think they’re my favorite.”

“I think you have a sweet tooth. But we can make waffles if you want.”

“I do.”

I pulled away from him and slid out from under his arm. Then I went to pull some clothes on. I settled on a plain t-shirt and jeans. Bucky put on the clothes he’d been wearing the night before. Just a black tank-top and sweatpants. My phone began to ring as he pulled his hair back up out of his face and secured it with a hair-tie. I reached for it and felt my heart jump.

It was Tony.

I had forgotten about his “bugs.” Which meant he was probably calling to make fun of me. JARVIS had probably alerted him to my rise in body temperature and heart rate. However, he hadn’t called the night before when we fell asleep in each other’s arms. So that meant he knew neither of us had been in any trouble. So that meant he knew we’d had sex.

I pressed accept and brought the phone to my ear. Then I motioned for Bucky to follow me into the hall.

“I swear to God, if I hear one Winter is Coming joke I'm going to stab you,” I told Tony.

“That's a good one. But that's not why I'm calling.” his voice said. "Is there supposed to be another person in the house? I'm getting three signatures." And I felt a cold chill creep over me.

Tony wasn’t using his playful tone. This was serious Tony. This was the guy who flew around in a metal suit and put himself in danger just to save others. Not the guy who threw parties and imitated Marilyn Monroe. I put my hand up on Bucky’s chest to freeze him into place.

“What?” I asked.

“I'm guessing by your tone that you were unaware you had company. Steve is on his way,” he told me.

“You don’t mean me and Bucky?”

“I wish that I did. Get out now.”

“Stay on the line.”

“I am.” I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked up at Bucky’s concerned expression.

“We’re not alone,” I told him.

His body went tense and his eyes hardened. The Bucky who had lain in my bed sleepy and half smiling was gone, and for a moment I worried that I might never get him back. I didn’t want him to cross back over that line. But he was right, we were going to have to face it eventually.

“I’ll go first,” he said, and then he headed for the staircase. I hurried after him.

“Bucky, don’t. We need to get out of here.” He turned back around to face me.

“There’s no getting out now, Jo.”

He slid out of my grasp and headed down the stairs. His shoulders were straight and he walked like he was ready for a fight. I was just glad that he could still distinguish between me and whatever mental mission he was giving himself. I followed after him, still clutching my phone in my hand.

“Jo! Johanna!” I could hear Tony saying from the speaker, but I didn’t want to answer just yet. Bucky made it to the bottom of the stairs, surveyed the living room and then turned toward the kitchen. I reached the bottom step and clutched the banister as I watched him enter the hallway. “Johanna!” I froze in place when I heard the unmistakable click of a bullet entering a chamber. “Jo?” I heard Tony asking, but I couldn’t answer now. Even if I wanted to.

“Put the phone down,” I heard a voice say. I shivered and pinched my eyes shut. I knew that voice. I was just hoping I would never have to hear it again. I stuck my hand out to my side and dropped the phone to the floor. It bounced against the bare wood and the glass went clear. “Turn around.” I turned around to face him.

“Oscar,” I said in greeting. The gun was now aimed at the center of my forehead. There was an inch of space between me and the weapon, but I could feel its phantom touch. I put my hands up to my sides in a show of surrender.

He was dressed in all black and had his eyes on me, though Bucky was the only threat I was truly concerned about. I wasn’t afraid of him getting hurt, that is. Just that I was surprised he hadn’t attacked yet. I couldn’t hear him moving through my house. But then I remembered he only made noise when he wanted me to hear him.

“How’s HYDRA?” I asked my ex-boyfriend.

“You know what they say, Johanna. Cut off one head and two more grow back,” he replied with a casual smile.

His face seemed more drawn than usual. He must have gotten a promotion. Maybe he didn’t have a full understanding of the job before. Maybe he felt guilty. I took a step back, hoping to put enough distance between us to grab the weapon, but my body hit a solid figure and I paused. I didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but I knew it was him. I felt my raised elbow brush against something smooth and cold like metal.

Oscar had undoubtedly known he was there, but he hadn’t made any sudden movements. His eyes didn’t move when Bucky appeared. He gave nothing away to me. But I could feel Bucky’s heartbeat against my back and I knew he was waiting for something. Maybe he was waiting for me to tell him it was okay to fight back. Maybe he was just nervous about the gun pointed at my head. But I knew he was fast enough to grab it before Oscar could pull the trigger. So I stretched my fingers and then motioned forward.

His left arm shot outward and yanked the gun out of Oscar’s hand before he had enough time to pull the trigger. The gun flew across the room and skidded to a halt beside the couch. Bucky’s right arm darted out and shoved me against the stairs. I saw his body turn as his left hand flew towards Oscar’s face. Blood spurted from his nose and he crashed against the entertainment center, sending a shower of books and collectables to the floor.

I heard my door open with a crash and a group of black clad agents stormed into our space. They were all wielding guns, pointed at Bucky. I stayed on the stairs with my hands around the banister. I was unarmed. All I could do was provide a distraction if it came down to it. I waited for my moment.

“Drop him!” one of the agents shouted.

Bucky had his hand wrapped around Oscar’s throat. But he released his grip and spun around, sending his fist into another face. Then he turned and his elbow met with a nose. Another man was flipped over his shoulders and landed with a crash on my coffee table, sending broken and splintered wood across the room. The agent closest to me finally figured out that he was outmatched and then his gun was between my eyes.

My instincts took over and before I knew what I was doing, I had kicked out my leg and struck the man in the stomach. He flew backwards and landed against the wall in the hallway, but he quickly regained his balance and rushed at me. He met me as I left the bottom step. His body collided with mine and he slammed me against the floor.

“Jo!” I heard Bucky shout.

He had my pink knife in his hand. He tossed it toward me and it slid across the floor. I scrambled for it, switched the blade open with the touch of a button, and swung around. I caught the man across the cheek. He jumped backwards to get out of my reach and landed right in Bucky’s path of destruction. He was launched across the room and landed with a thud against my bookcase. That left the two of us in a sea of bodies in the middle of my living room.

But Bucky wasn’t done. He stepped over one of the motionless agents and found where Oscar was struggling to regain his balance by the stairs. He gripped Oscar by the throat and pinned him against the wall with his metal hand. Oscar was bleeding badly but Bucky wasn’t going to let him die easy. He squeezed his fingers, cutting off Oscar’s breathing and sneered as he waited for the man’s face to turn blue. I wondered if the man’s death would have been slow at all if the arm had been working properly. Despite it not being at its best, it had still done a lot of damage.

Oscar began to struggle. He kicked his legs, yanked helplessly at the metal around his throat. He choked, he sputtered, and all I could do was keep my eyes on Bucky’s face. He wasn’t Bucky anymore. He was the Winter Soldier. I stepped over to them and dropped to the floor on the other side of Oscar. I put my hand on Bucky’s right arm.

“Bucky, listen to me,” I said in a soft voice, even though my heart was pounding and I could barely breathe. I could feel my lip bleeding and swelling from my fall against the floor, but I wiped the blood away with the palm of my hand. “Bucky, let him go. I know you want to kill him, but you’re not a killer. Not anymore. Please let him go?”

He barred his gritted teeth like a wild animal. His eyes were pinched and dark and for the first time since he’d appeared in my kitchen I was actually afraid of him. He had shown that he knew the difference between me and the enemy, but I didn’t want him to kill again. I wanted him to be free of the things he had done. I didn’t want him to regret this death. But the look on his face told me everything I needed to know. He wanted Oscar to die. He wanted to be the one to do it. He was enjoying it.

“Let him go,” I whispered. “Please?” Finally he released his fingers and Oscar stopped struggling. He was unconscious and slumped against the wall. Bucky leaned over and leveled his eyes with mine. They were still dark and furious, and he looked at me almost as if he was trying to show me what he really was.

“I want to kill him, Jo,” he whispered in a cold voice. “That’s why I can’t live this life with you. I want to kill each and every one of them.” I nodded slowly and put my hands on him.

“I know, but…” I started.

“I have to go,” he said.

“I know.”

“I have to get out while I still can. More of them will come.”

“Steve is on his way. I’ll wait here for him. Get out of here and come back when it’s safe. Promise me that you’ll come back.” He reached out and pressed his palm against my heart for just a second. Then he pulled away and stood up.

“I promise.” He turned toward the back door and paused before he reached it. He looked back at me and his eyes were finally full of that remorse I had feared. I hated that I couldn’t keep him safe from them. But everyone was right. I wasn’t enough. “I’ll come back for you,” is all he said. And then he disappeared out the door.

Notes

Sorry for giving you a happy gushy romance chapter and then snatching it away from you. :X