Monster

In all my life, I had never once visited the west coast. Tony had once offered to take my family to Disneyland, but we never accepted. Mostly because it was just a ruse to get Clara to stay with him in California instead of spending all her time in New York. I also don’t think he was accustomed to how humble my family was.

Even though I had grown up in Ohio, Washington DC had been my home. I had lived there for almost half a decade. That didn’t seem like much in the span of my life, but it was my where my memories were the sharpest.

But when Tony’s private jet landed in California I was suddenly exposed to a dry heat that I wasn’t accustomed to. I didn’t like it. And I had to sit in the back of Tony’s car with the air conditioner on full blast, hiding in my hooded sweatshirt. But Tony lived by the ocean in a more tropical area, and the heat had gone from dry to humid, and sweltering hot in the sun to freezing cold in the shade.

Tony’s house was as lavish as could be expected. His old house had been blown up just last Christmas and he had gone out and bought a new one, just higher up on a cliff and with more windows than normal people needed. His house was always bright, always cold inside, and always too hot outside. There were too many rooms and Tony was always downstairs tinkering in the basement and talking to his robots, while my sister always hid in the upstairs office working to represent Stark and all his shenanigans.

Tony gave me a job that I could do from his house, but it felt too simple to be a real job. He gave me more money than I deserved and said he’d give me a better job when I got back on my feet. I had enough money to pay for my own apartment and to pay for the car I was still “borrowing” from him, but my sister wouldn’t let me move out because she was 90% sure I was going to be brutally murdered by a super-assassin if she left me alone for too long.

So during mid-afternoon I would take my laptop out onto the deck that overlooked the ocean. I would hide in the cool shade with a blanket or a fan, depending on the temperature. But that day was particularly chilly. The sun was setting and the shadows were icy. I had the blanket wrapped around me and I sat out on a chair looking out over the water. My laptop battery was dying but I didn’t want to go back inside yet because Clara would start to nag me. She seemed to think that I wasn’t recovering because I sat around the house all day and didn’t bother to put normal clothes on most days. She said working on the laptop was putting too much strain on my arm. But I had to work. If I didn’t work I would think and I hated thinking more than I hated working.

Even though my shoulder was no longer stitched or in a sling, it still hurt a great deal since most of the bone had been replaced and plated. The scar that was forming on the new wound was weirdly symmetric to the other one, but far more puckered and red and painful.

Whenever conversations with Clara lead toward my healing shoulder, she liked to remind me of the person who put it there. He was the reason my arm was so difficult to move without pain and he was the reason I sat outside all day with nothing but my thoughts and a ridiculously simple job.

It didn’t matter how many times I tried to tell her that Bucky had shot me in the shoulder in an attempt to buy me more time and save my life. It didn’t matter to her that he was a near perfect shot and had changed his target at the very last second. It didn’t matter to her that his plan had worked and he had bought me just enough time for Tony to reach me. She still wasn’t convinced. She still believed his act had been of violence and malevolence.

The screen door beside me was open and I could hear Clara clacking around on her heels and talking to Tony about his car keys. They were headed out to some event that he had planned and she didn’t want to attend. But Tony insisted that she had to be there since it was her job to represent the company and make sure he didn’t say anything stupid.

“I don’t need keys!” Tony was arguing as he followed her around the house. “It’s fingerprint activated and if you’d kept the car I got you for your birthday you would have known that!”

“Well, that’s just stupid,” she decided. “I can just cut your finger off and steal the car.”

“The car has a heat sensor. It can tell if you chop off my finger. It would self-destruct.”

“Do you want to test it?”

I listened to this for a few moments before Tony went off to find his tie and Clara appeared at the door and pushed the screen open. She walked out onto the patio and looked down at me. She had on a simple black dress that was tight against her figure. Her hair was tied up neatly and professionally. But she looked lovely as always, and I looked like a drug addict with my blanket and yoga pants.

“We’re going to head out. Are you sure you don’t want to come?” she asked as she put her hand on the glass railing to balance herself. I snorted a laugh.

“I wouldn’t even go to the mailbox looking like this,” I reminded her.

“We can make a pit-stop at a salon. I could always just chop off Tony’s finger and come back for you when you’re done.”

“I don’t really want to go anywhere.”

“I know. I was just hoping my humor would win you over. Or the thought of Tony missing a finger.” I gave a short laugh.

“It’s tempting. But I wouldn’t want you to blow up.” She waved the idea away.

“He’s bluffing. And if he isn’t, then I bet you he’s telling JARVIS to disable that function as we speak. Just in case I’m serious.” I shook my head and smiled.

“I’ll pass this time. Tony can keep his finger for another day.”

“Well, call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

“I’ll see you later.” She waved and went back inside, sliding the screen closed behind her.

I heard them bicker some more before the front door closed and the house went silent. Even from the back of the house and being so close to the ocean, I could hear Tony’s car engine start and I waited for the sound of it to zoom down the driveway before I decided to get up.

Since the sun was setting it was filling the space with too much warmth. I lifted the blanket off of my shoulders and stretched my legs out with a sigh. I had seen too many sunsets since coming to Malibu. Steve said he wanted me to join his hunt for Bucky as soon as my doctor gave the okay. The only problem was that my doctor wouldn’t give me the okay. Physical therapy was taking much longer this time around. But then again, last time I hadn’t shattered a bone.

I knew that my presence was putting a strain on Tony and Clara. Clara’s home was in New York, but she stayed for me. Not for Tony. And I think it really bothered him, even though he liked having her around all the time. Though he probably didn’t like seeing me camp out on his deck every afternoon.

I decided that watching another sunset wasn’t a good enough reason to let my battery die. So I stood up and collected my laptop and the blanket, and returned to the house. The computer’s charger was plugged into the power station in the center of the coffee table. So I sat down on the couch and plugged it in, just in time.

“Hey, JARVIS?” I asked.

“Yes, Miss Hayes?” the disembodied voice replied.

“Would you mind turning on the AC?” The house was unusually warm, considering how chilly it had been for most of the afternoon. I guess that was what happened when you had too many windows and turned the AC off.

“The air conditioning unit has been set to a comfortable sixty two degrees.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Hayes.”

“Are there any more water bottles in the fridge?”

“There are exactly three in the upstairs fridge,” he told me.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Hayes.”

At first I hated the idea of having JARVIS in the house all the time. I knew he had been monitoring my house in DC, but it was different when he started talking to me. Back in DC I didn’t have to hear the sometimes unusually human remarks he would make. In Malibu he acted like my alarm clock and personal assistant. Tony always got mad at him because he would interrupt our conversations to remind me of things.

But I never had to get up to see if there was something I wanted in the fridge because he monitored everything with a barcode and everything with a tank or electric connection. I never had to turn on the AC by myself. He woke me up every morning by unblocking my windows and saying “Good morning, Miss Hayes,” with a pleasant voice.

In the beginning I gave Tony a lot of heat for it. But it turns out that I actually liked JARVIS and even though he was really only programmed to do Tony’s bidding, I think he liked me too. Sometimes he went out of his weird little robot way to help me, even when Tony told him not to. Plus it was nice to have someone to talk to who couldn’t judge you.

I stood up to walk to the kitchen. It was a surprisingly long walk from the couch to the kitchen. The place was stacked with stainless steel appliances and everything anyone could ever need or want in a home kitchen. Or a restaurant kitchen for that matter.

I wrapped my hand around the handle of the fridge and pulled the gigantic steel beast open. But the light was off. I reached up and pressed the button at the top that toggled the light. It wasn’t working. It wasn’t making that faint humming sound either.

“Uh… JARVIS?” I asked, but his voice didn’t respond. I turned my head to the side and listened. The AC had gone silent too, but I felt my spine run cold anyway.

Clara and I had grown up in a house that occasionally lost power during winter storms or slow business months. Tony never went without power. Tony always had his bills paid. Tony had generators and backup generators and backups for his backups. Tony’s house was built so that even if the power went out, the energy stored from solar panels would keep the place buzzing for a while.

The only way the power could have been off is if someone intentionally shut it off. JARVIS was usually supposed to overwrite that action. And if JARVIS hadn’t got the power back on, it meant a line was cut somewhere. Which means JARVIS would then alert Tony from his car or his phone, and I knew he always had a suit handy, and he hadn’t been gone very long.

I shut the fridge and then swiveled around. Just as I expected a figure was standing by the now open back door. He was dressed in full armor. Even his eyes and mouth were covered. The only thing exposed was his robotic arm.

I said once that I wasn’t afraid of Bucky. I said I would never run from him, but I also wasn’t prepared for him to be so dark and sinister. I couldn’t connect with him through the mask. It wasn’t MY Bucky. So I felt my heart beating in my chest and I took a cautious step forward.

“Bucky?” I said.

He lifted a weapon in my direction and I jumped behind the island counter to block myself. The weapon never shot. I sat crouched behind the counter, clutching at my pounding heart, hoping that maybe he recognized me.

He didn’t. He appeared around the other side and lifted the weapon again. I bolted for the front door when the weapon was fired. I heard a click and a swish as a wire shot around my ankle and I crashed against the floor. He yanked me toward him, sliding me across the smooth floor.

“Bucky, please?” I shouted as I put my hands up in defense. He paused and stood over me. “It’s me,” I pleaded. “It’s Jo. Don’t you remember me? Please tell me you remember? You promised you would. You don’t have to do this.”

I had hoped that for a split second my plea was getting through to him, but then he reached down and slammed his robotic hand against my throat. My breath caught in a strangled gag and I struggled uselessly to get his hand away from me. I kicked my feet, I hit his arms, nothing worked. My instinct was to scratch him and I reached for his face and ripped the mask away, freeing the man that I had known. But his eyes were dark and focused. Nothing like the man who had woke up in my bed already smiling.

“Let her go,” I heard a voice say, and then I heard the now familiar sound of Tony’s suit as if fired up.

A bright light shot from his hand and hit Bucky in the chest, sending him flying out of the kitchen and into the dining room table. He was back on his feet in an instant and came barreling into the living room toward Tony. I was still struggling to catch my breath as they fought uselessly against each other. But then Tony threw Bucky toward the wall by the sliding glass door. He lifted his hand, preparing to fire up again.

Then I jumped between them.

“Tony,” I gasped, putting my hands up. “Stop… Don’t hurt him.” Both men froze still. The iron mask stared over at me, and even though Tony’s face was invisible I could still feel his disbelief.

“He killed my parents, Jo. He tried to kill you,” he reminded me.

“He didn’t kill your parents. HYDRA did. Bucky was just the weapon. And if he wanted to kill me, he could have. He could have crushed my throat without even trying. He could have just shot me and left.”

“He’s HYDRA’s attack dog!”

“Exactly. He’s innocent.”

“He’s beyond saving, Jo. The sooner you realize that, the better for all of us.”

“Just let me… talk to him.”

“He’s not going to let you talk. He’s here to kill you. Probably Clara and me too. Is that…”

Tony had one suit that acted without his instructions. It was set to protect him when he was under stress. I had never seen it in action, but I heard about it from his battle with the Mandarin last winter when the whole lot of them came to help him.

I heard that same familiar sound as a suit prepared to fire. We both turned to look at where it stood, arm raised and prepped for attack.

“No, no, no, no!” Tony shouted, but it was too late. The suit was aiming for Bucky and I was standing right in front of him.

Bucky swiveled, blocking me from the attack. It hit him in the space between his shoulders and sent the both of us crashing through the screen door and out onto the deck. I heard glass shatter and next thing I knew there was nothing beneath my feet but air and open water.

“Tony!” I screamed as I scrambled for the broken railing. But I was lying on the screen and it was sliding off the edge of the deck.

Glass pressed into my skin as I tried to grasp the railing. The movement caused my shoulder to explode with pain. I felt the glass break against my arm and in an instant I lost my grip and dropped. But then suddenly I felt metal wrap around my arm. I saw his face above me, stern with determination.

“Tell me what you know,” he demanded as I dangled there above the ocean, hanging by nothing but his metal hand wrapped around my arm.

“What?” I shouted.

“Let her go!” I heard Tony yell from the deck beyond. I knew that if I dropped Tony could probably catch me. I just didn’t like my odds. Or my position.

“Tell me what you know about me,” Bucky repeated. My heart slammed against my ribcage and there was too much strain on my shoulder. I could barely focus, but I had to try.

“I-I… Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. You’re from Brooklyn New York. You were born in 1917. You were an orphan. Your best friend in the whole world was Steve Rogers. You grew up together and you fought together. In the war. Against HYDRA.”

“Tell me something only you would know!” he said, shaking me and making me shriek from fright.

“Okay! Okay! I know… I know when you fell… from the train! You said you remembered! You were lying in the snow! Bleeding! Screaming for help! Half your arm was severed!”

“Something about you!” he yelled.

“I’m trying!” I screamed. “You told me this! Just me! No one else! You told me the night before HYDRA took you from me! You said what we had was real! You listened to my heartbeat and you told me it was real!”

Before I had enough time to register what he was doing, he yanked me back onto the deck, practically throwing me toward the broken door. I slid across the glass and clutched at my shoulder. Bucky stood and walked toward me, crunching glass beneath his boots. I looked up as he approached.

“Why did you block him from me?” he asked. I wrapped my fingers around the cut on my arm, feeling blood squeeze out between my fingers.

“I didn’t want him to hurt you,” I told him.

“You care about me.”

“Yes.”

“Why does HYDRA want you alive?” He stepped toward me and I heard Tony’s suit nearby as he prepared to defend me. But he stayed quiet so I could get the conversation I asked for.

“Because I’m important to you? Because the last time you got free from them I helped you recover. I helped you remember who you are.”

“No,” he said as he shook his head and stood closer. He was just above me. The sun was setting behind him and the light was bright so that I couldn’t make out most of his features. “They want you for something. Something big.”

“I have no idea,” I admitted.

“I cared about you too?” he asked.

I struggled to my feet so that I could face him. He was taller than me but I could see into his eyes clearly on my feet. Even with the sun behind him. I reached for his right hand and he flinched, but allowed me to take it. I lifted it and pressed it against my chest where my heart was still pounding.

“You said that… being with me made you feel comfortable enough to remember yourself,” I told him. “And that night when you told me how you fell from the train, you put your hand on my heart and I told you that was how you know it's real. What we had, I mean. It was cheesy but you said you liked cheesy. And… you seemed to like the way it felt. That was the first and last night we spent together but you kept your hand on my heart all night. And it was the last thing you did before they came for you. You promised you would come back for me.”

He looked away as if I had finally said something that made sense, but he kept his hand over my heart. I wanted to reach out and hold him again because gentleness seemed to work for him before. But when I reached out he yanked himself away from me with a snarl and stepped back into the house passed Tony.

“Bucky, don’t go,” I said as I followed him in. He headed toward the front door but stopped in the foyer. Then he turned to look at me. His eyes were still cold and dark but there was something human in him that I hadn’t seen earlier.

“HYDRA wants something from you,” he said. I nodded.

“I don’t know what it is.”

“You said that I made a promise.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Then I’ll keep it.” He turned his head back toward the door. “I just want to find out why.” Then he stepped out of the door, slamming it behind him.

I took a moment to collect myself. My heart was still thumping frantically in my chest and my mind was whirring. I wasn’t entirely sure what Bucky meant by “finding out why.” All I could hope was that he was going to start asking questions. Maybe he already had. Maybe that’s why he’d been quick to save my life when I jumped in front of him. Maybe that’s why my cheesy words seemed to get through to him. Maybe they didn’t have their cryo equipment after all. And if that was the case, Bucky was returning regardless of what they did to his head.

That’s the thing about the human brain. You can tamper with it all you want but it always perseveres. Just like me. I stepped over to the couch and leaned against it. I was bleeding and bruised and aching, but I felt alive, for the first time since the fight with HYDRA. That was what Sam meant when he said some of us weren’t cut out for the normal life. This is what he meant when he said I couldn’t save Bucky. I couldn’t remove him from a life of fighting and running. Just like I myself, couldn’t be taken from that life.

I wanted to live again. I didn’t want to hide out on a couch all day working on a laptop and being lazy. I didn’t want to go back to DC and work at a desk job or be a waitress. There was no life in boring and normal. That was why I struggled to recover and get my life back. I was meant for a life of running and fighting. I couldn't adjust because that life had never been plausible for me. And if HYDRA wanted me, then I would never stop running and fighting.

Maybe I couldn’t shoot a gun. I couldn’t kill when my own life was in danger. But I killed when other’s lives were at stake. I threw an active grenade to save a Colonel. I shot a man in the throat for a man I cared about. For Bucky. And maybe I couldn’t be like Steve or Tony. I couldn’t save the world. But I could do my part. All I’d ever wanted was to do my part. And finally, HYDRA had given me enough motivation.

“You’re sort of bleeding all over my sofa,” Tony said, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked down at the cut on my arm from the broken glass.

“It’s your fault for buying a house with glass railings,” I told him.

“I realize that now.”

“Will you give me a lift?”

“Where? I sort of left your sister stranded on the side of the road.” I pushed away from the couch and wrapped the sleeve of my shirt around the wound.

“Just to the hospital so I can get this stitched. I can’t do it one handed.”

“Good idea. I was afraid you were going to try to go after him.” I winced at the new aches and pains but turned back to face him. He had lifted the mask so I could see his face. I wasn’t like Tony. I didn’t have a cool suit. I didn’t have a Project Falcon. But I knew someone who did.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do,” I told him. “I just have a favor to call in first.”

“You’re going to go after him? Are you serious?” I nodded.

“Yes.”

“That's an awfully big job for one person.”

“You said you wanted revenge, right? Help me and I’ll help you get it.” I turned away from him and went to get my phone from the coffee table.

“And they say I’m nuts,” I heard him say. I lifted the phone and headed toward the door to the garage. I heard the line connect on the phone as I pressed it to my ear.

“Hello?” the voice responded.

“Sam, hi. This is Jo. I have a favor to ask you.” I could hear him smile even through the phone.

“Anything you need,” he replied.

Notes

I know this is like the mother of all cliffhangers, but I made it that way specifically so it would lead into the sequel. So if there had been no sequel at all, I would have undoubtedly left you with a more uplifting final chapter. Lololol.

Either way, two things you can take from this finale. 1. Bucky was already questioning HYDRA despite them still tampering with his head. 2. HYDRA wants Jo alive. 3. Jo found her Project Falcon, in fact, she's had it all along.

Mentions of this possibility have been scattered throughout the story. Ex;
Chapter 1, "The gun, knives, and training were just precautions."
Chapter 4, "The box that held all my military memorabilia was missing, along with my collection of knives."
Chapter 26, "I had my uniform, my medals, my throwing knives, my pictures, my letters from home, and my discharge papers."
Chapter 33, "That’s why Special Forces had wanted me in the first place. I was good with knives."

Things you can expect from the sequel: Jo being badass, flashbacks to her days in the military that explain how she picked up her "nickname," more Falcon, more gifs, Steve's mutant girlfriend, Clara has a secret, Hawkeye, HYDRA being dicks, Bucky being considerably less like The Winter Soldier, sexy smoochies, Jo's family, angst, romance, all that good stuff. Maybe more. That's just what I have in store for now. :D

So I hope you liked it? I hope that you guys stick around for the epilogue too. I'll have that up tomorrow to hold you guys over until the sequel is ready. But I don't know if you guys want a super happy mushy gushy epilogue, or a intense in your face "gotta know what happens" epilogue. I'll try to get that up asap. And the story page for the sequel is here if you want to subscribe.

Thanks!