Love The One You're (NOT) With

Loki and Thor sit by the campfire as they eat their meal. Darkness has descended over them and the stars have come out. There is a heavy weight in the air. They need to talk. This place they are in is full of childhood memories as well as adult memories with friends. Their brotherly bond was forged in places like this. Thor is beginning to wonder if bringing Loki here was a mistake. It is private and isolated, and only handful of people know about it. Loki chews his food quietly.
“Loki?”
“Yes Thor.”
Thor doesn’t even know what he wants to ask him. A million questions flow through Thor’s mind. ‘Do you love me the way I love you? Do you want to make love? What do you look like in your Jotun form? Can I see it? Are you angry with me? How do you feel?’
“What…..do you want to hunt tomorrow?” Thor stutters out. Stupid! Stupid! Damn it! Loki looks up from his food at his brother and sighs. Thor has never been very good with words.
“Why did you bring me here Thor?” Loki asks, positively bored.
“I…ah… so we could be alone. So that I could lavish affection on you the way I want to without worrying about others seeing us.”
“So you could fuck me the way you want without others hearing us, is that it?”
“No! No, I…ah…I want to get to know you better too. Ah. I want you to see me differently. To see me as someone that you could love as more than a brother.”
“By bringing me to a place where we have done nothing but brotherly activities our entire lives? Where everywhere I look is a memory of our childhood, and our lives with our friends? Of you and Sif fucking like wild animals in the woods?”
“It was always you I was thinking about when I was with her. I can’t get hard unless I think of you.” Thor blurts out the unabashed truth before thinking. He blushes noticeably, even in the dark. Thor didn’t mean to sound so crude.
“You really think I’m beautiful don’t you?”
“Of course. Have I not made that plain enough to you? You are the air I breathe Loki.”
A shiver runs up Loki’s spine. Loki closed his heart off years ago after what Amora had done to him. She made him believe she loved him, until he overheard the plotting bitch talking shit about him to her friends. She’d even called him ergi. And perhaps the slut was right about him. Loki has never been with a man. Amora had taught him to censor his own thoughts in that particular area. Loki has had few bed partners since, and they were only one time events. When Thor sucked Loki’s cock, it had felt like a brick wall holding back his desires had been knocked down. Loki looks at the sincerity of Thor’s face. Just once, just once, Loki would like to turn his mind off and just feel, but he can’t.
“How long have you felt this way about me?” Loki asks
“Centuries. Our whole lives really. It started when we were adolescents I think. My first memory of feeling desire for you was when we were swimming right here in the creek by our camp ground. We were both naked, and not caring because we were brothers after all. You came up out of the water. Your hair was longer then. You were going through a phase I think. You whipped your hair around to ring it out. The sun was shining from behind you and it took my breath away. You looked like an angel. I knew I wanted you then and everyday thereafter.”
Loki is stunned by this revelation. All of their shared childhood memories have a very different meaning for Thor. Thor, whether he realizes it or not, brought the two of them to the place where he first fell in love with Loki. Where Loki sees a lifetime of brotherly bonding, Thor sees a lifetime of aching desire.
“And to think all this time I’ve been living in your shadow, you’ve been living in mine.” Loki says quietly.
“How do you mean?” Thor asks quizzically.
“Do you remember that little speech father used to give us about both of us being born to be kings, but only one of us could ascend to the throne?”
“Yes vaguely.”
“I knew that day and every day thereafter that you were my competitor, and that I didn’t stand a chance. I tried to differentiate myself from you by learning and mastering my magic, by studying everything there is to know about running a kingdom. Politics, harvest schedules, inter-realm trading bylaws, foreign languages, everything. Where you are the crowned jewel of our fighting force, I made myself to be the politician that you never had the patience to become. Though I know in my heart I would be a far superior king than you in running the business of the realm, I also know that I will never have the love of the people as you do. And I hate you for it Thor. I’ve hated you so long because you’ve always bested me at everything. I don’t know how to NOT compete with you.”
Thor digests this information. In truth, Loki has not told him anything he didn’t already know. But it doesn’t stop Thor from feeling guilty, knowing that he has inflicted this pain upon his love. Loki has always had self-esteem issues. This is just the first time he has clarified its origins.
“What if we didn’t have to compete anymore?” Thor asks seriously. “Loki don’t you see? Marrying me would mean you wouldn’t have to compete anymore. We would be equals ruling side by side, supporting each other, using each of our strengths to the benefit of the kingdom. I am strong where you are weak, and you are strong where I am weak. Together we would be invincible.”
“Together we would be a freak show! Brothers turned lovers. A pseudo-incestuous relationship only tolerated by the revelation that I am a Jotun monster!” Loki stands, anger clear in his face as his eyes turn ruby red and blue flesh overtakes pink. Loki strips off his tunic to bare his chest so that Thor might better see his hideous natural form.
“And do you think the people of Asgard would tolerate me as their new ergi jotun queen?! Look at me Thor! I am the monster mothers tell their children about at night!” Loki looks at Thor intensely. Thor takes in Loki’s form and his eyes gleam at the beauty before him. How can Loki look upon himself and think such a thing? Loki’s anger falters when he sees Thor’s expression of awe, and the hardness growing in his pants. Thor sees the fear rapidly enveloping Loki’s demeanor at being so exposed and vulnerable.
“I feel sorry for the people of Asgard, for they will be jealous of me, for the beauty I will have by my side, that they can never touch.” Thor slowly steps round the campfire to enter Loki’s personal space. Thor looks at the spiraling tribal marks trailing down Loki’s body. His tongue itches to taste them.
“Thor, I’m not sure I’m ready to change the way I…think… about you. I know you have been in love with me your entire life, but I have only just begun to CONSIDER thinking that way about you. It has only been 2 days. I need more time.” Loki says, acutely aware that he and Thor are so close to each other now they are practically breathing the same air.
Thor places a hand on his chest, running his thumb along the sensitive ridge there that slowly snakes and coils its way down to….
“I want to make love to you. Like this, as you are now.” Thor whispers to Loki, only an inch away from his face. The eye contact is loving, but serious. Tears form in Loki’s eyes and he is unable to stop as the first one escapes down his cheek. Thor leans in and hesitantly, chastely kisses Loki’s lips with his. Thor places another, this one slightly more insistent than the last. The third kiss Loki inhales deeply through his nose as their mouths crash together and arms encircle one another. There are audible moans coming from the both of them. They kiss passionately before Loki breaks them apart.
“If we do this we can never go back. We will be different…forever.” Loki says with his voice full of fear. Loki realizes that if he and Thor make love tonight it is tantamount to an acceptance of a marriage proposal. After all, fucking Thor and then going back to just being brothers would be impossible. Their relationship would be forever altered, and severely damaged if this romantic relationship does not work out. Thor runs his thumb along the length of the ridge on Loki’s chest and shudders. He wants Thor. He wants him more than he has ever wanted anything before in the entirety of his life.
“By the Norns, I hope so.” Thor says softly before leaning back in for another kiss. His hands are all over Loki’s bare chilled skin. It is cold, but refreshingly so. Thor pays it no mind. He intends to warm Loki up anyway. Thor strips off his tunic and the men embrace each other again, bare skin to bare skin. Their growing arousal for one another evident as they grind into one another for more contact.
“Bed.”
“Yes.”
They stumble into the tent, acting as if the world would end if they stopped touching each other. Thor pulls his hands away from Loki’s back and starts to unlace Loki’s trousers. They are still locked in a kiss. Loki takes the cue and does the same with Thor’s. They both do a fun dance of sorts as they try to kick off their boots and pants without the aid of their hands.
Thor gets on his knees before Loki and assists him with his right boot that refuses to come off. He tosses the items aside and looks lovingly at Loki’s cock. Thor smiles up at Loki. Loki’s breath hitches. Thor pulls Loki’s crotch into his face. His palms rake lines of fingernail marks down each ass cheek as he plants kisses on Loki’s genitalia. Loki’s cock jumps at the contact.
“When we get back to Asgard I’m going gather up all your enemies at court and make them watch me swallow your cock.” Loki gasps as the wet heat of Thor’s mouth envelopes him. The sensitive ridges on his cock send lightning bolts of pleasure up his body. Thor is making eye contact with Loki as he sucks him. Loki feels his orgasm already building.
“Thor, please! I won’t last! I’m going to come too soon.” Loki protests. But Thor pays him no mind. He intends to give Loki several orgasms tonight. Loki pants heavily as Thor bobs his head back and forth. His abdomen grows taught with tension.
“Thor!” Loki gasps as he comes into Thor’s loving mouth. Loki’s whole body is trembling.
“Lay down my love.” Thor says gently. Loki, who is usually graceful in his movements, plops down onto their sleeping mat. It is piled high with many layers of thick soft furs. Thor gets up and goes over to his bag to fish out his bottle of oil before returning to their bed. Loki freezes at the sight of it. He knows what Thor wants, and in truth he wants it too. Desperately so, but he is afraid.
“Loki, may I take you? Or if you wish, you can take me. But I wish for us to make love now. I wish to join our bodies together. I don’t care how.” Dammit Thor! Loki thinks as the tears start to well in his eyes again. Why can he not stop crying?
“Take me.” Loki squeaks out. Thor nods and moves in to kiss Loki. Thor presses him slowly down into the furs. Thor sits back up and opens the bottle, drizzling out a small amount onto his fingers. Loki looks down and that is when he sees Thor’s cock. It is…Meaty. Large, long, and coursing red with blood. It will never fit.
“I know being taken can be painful, especially the first time, but I will go slowly. You tell me if I am doing anything you cannot handle.” Thor says, seeing the trepidation in Loki’s eyes. Loki nods and bends his legs up to give Thor better access. Thor’s fingers part Loki’s cheeks to find that small ring of muscles. Thor circles it with his finger for a moment before penetrating Loki…and hits a roadblock. Thor has plunged two fingers deep into Loki, much deeper than last time. Inside of Loki, it feels different, like there are two passages and not just one. The first one seems to fight his intrusion.
“Ah! No Thor! Not that way, it’s wrong.” Loki says instinctively. Thor sweeps his fingers in the other direction. “Oh! Yes Thor! That way! Fuck me there!” Thor grins at the command. Loki’s passage is not as tight as Thor expected, in fact it feels more like a woman’s opening. Thor pulls his fingers away and a cloud of scent hits his nostrils. It smells reminiscent of a woman’s arousal. Thor has found Loki’s womb. Thor looks down at Loki’s beautiful washboard stomach and imagines it swelling with their child.
Thor takes a hold of his cock and guides it to Loki’s entrance and slowly pushes in. He angels it to go where it needs to and Loki keens at the raw searing pleasure. This doesn’t hurt at all. It feels right! Thor is watching Loki’s face for any sign of distress, but Loki is only smiling, and gasping, and keening. Taking this for the good sign that it is, Thor starts to set a slow moving pace. Everything feels more sensitive in Loki’s natural form, and this new place inside of him that he never knew existed feels like a fireworks display. Loki wants more.
He wraps his legs around Thor’s hips and arches his own to meet Thor’s thrusts. He wants all of him, every inch. Thor growls as he picks up the pace, rutting Loki in earnest.
“I love you Loki. I love you. I love you.” Thor mutters and kisses. They are both crying. For the first time, Loki feels that love. Not brotherly affection. Not empty lust, but deep abiding love. He opens his heart, and lets Thor in.
“I love you too.” He sobs. They come together in sweet ecstasy. Thor collapses on top of Loki, and he absentmindedly strokes Thor’s back. Perfection.

Notes